The Daily Stick - Issue 1
The Daily Stick
CAPTAIN BLUE ENGAGED TO DONUT!
Captain Blue gets engaged to a donut! How did it happen? Last night, Captain Blue stared through the glass doors with trays of donuts behind them, at the bakery, just waiting to get a taste of one. And then, he opened the doors, and grabbed the most beautiful, most scrumptious, delightful donut he could find, took a tiny little bite, and fell in love immediately.
He said, “Donut, will you marry me?” And, when he put the money on the counter for the donut, the donut was his. Ever since, we have been digging to find out every last detail about this not only yummy, but jelly-filled of a story! Here’s what Captain Blue has to say: “Our plan is doing what praying mantises do, but instead, the husband eats the wife!”
-Written and edited by S. Samuel Stickenson
Wanting to catch the latest hot deals? Check them out below!
Smith’s Bakery - Captain Blue’s Upcoming Wedding special:
5 donuts for the price of 3!
Dr. Junior’s Sausages—new deal! 1 for the price of 2!
Stickflakes—Find a toy in every box!
Babies Rage Against New Sugar-Free Formula
“Goo!” Is what one baby has to say about the situation.
The new baby formula made by Babies-R-Healthy is making a huge splash across the nation, with their new, “sugar-free” formula. Do the babies like it? Not one bit. A revolution is happening throughout the nation. In some cities the babies are completely taking over and are forcing the mothers to make them formula with plenty of sugar.
Of course, we can’t fight back because, you know… THEY’RE BABIES! How do we fight back? Anyway, it seems that there are still a few towns where babies aren’t going crazy, mostly towns with fewer buyers of the new formula and towns with fewer babies.
However, even the President is fearing they may just start Civil War II. Here is what Mayor Ugly Bacon the -10th has to say: “It doesn’t seem like babies here are quite yet taking over, but we must stay cautious. Mothers must feed the babies normal formula soon and keep them asleep as much as they can so they can’t take action!”
And, I asked him if we should be nervous, and he says we are all doo—I MEAN, he says that we should be fine as long as the mothers follow his instructions carefully. Best of luck for survival, from the editorial desk of The Daily Stick, Señor S. Freddy.
The Daily Stick Issue #1 no rights reserved 2018